Yesterday afternoon, newly-elected Canadian Prime Minster Justin Trudeau demonstrated his tough stance against Russia’s Vladimir Putin by organizing a photo shoot. Trudeau dashed into the Canadian wilderness where he lassoed a bull moose, mounted it, and rode it top-speed through a pristine stream, while photographers jockeyed to get the best shot. The photo shoot took less than an hour, according to True Facts Wire photographer Andrea Kwan. “It was astonishing, really” Kwan confided, “We weren’t there more than fifteen minutes before Justin had subdued the moose, using nothing but a lasso and his chiseled figure. He’s clearly done this before.”
Trudeau’s photo shoot comes in response to a well-publicized photo, released by the Kremlin, that shows Putin riding a bear. “This kind of imagery is meant to intimidate,” Trudeau said. “I wanted to let the world know that here in Canada we also have big game – and as of October 19th we also have a leader who rides it, hashtag Real Change™.”
The message behind the photo shoot is consistent with Trudeau’s rhetoric on the campaign trail. “I said that Canada needs to stand strongly against the bully Putin,” Trudeau said next to the pristine stream, while flicking water droplets out of his curly locks. “That strong stand starts today, and it starts by me riding this moose without a shirt on.”
Late last night, Putin issued a statement on the photo shoot. “I ride bears, so I fear no mooses” Putin said, misusing the plural of “moose”. Trudeau countered, saying, “Moose kill more Canadians each year than terrorists. So if Putin doesn’t fear them, he’ll have to learn that he’s a damn fool the hard way.”
Trudeau even considered the possibility that, if it could avoid “all out war” with Russia, he would challenge Putin to a moose-back versus bear-back jousting tournament. “Let’s just say I won’t rule it out at this time” Trudeau confirmed. “I think that my record in blood sports against political advisories speaks for itself.”
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